Consumer Centric

I’ve noticed a recent uptick in spam email that apparently is too sophisticated for today’s filters to keep out.  I haven’t seen these for a long time, but spammers are getting smarter on the technical front, but obviously not on the creativity front.

The outlandish stories in these spam messages (written in broken English with terrible grammar) make you wonder who could possibly think this is real and reply to it.  Somebody must… a lot of somebodies.

Here’s a sampling of the most entertaining recent requests for my help:

• Born Again Christian Mrs. Alyssa Walton and her late husband who worked with the Embassy of Iceland in Canada for 10 years before he died.
  When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 19Million Dollars (Nineteen Million United State Dollars) on the safe deposit Box with the diplomatic vault house.
  With God all things are possible As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the diplomatic vault house.
  Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein Hoping to hearing from you.
  I have set aside 15% for you and for your time and 10% for any expenses if there is any then remaining balance for the word of God.
• Sponsorloterij Jackpot and Promotions and my lucky number winning One Million Euros.
  Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, remember to quote your Ticket number, Lucky number, lottery Ref. number, Serial number, your full names, telephone number and address in all correspondence.
  Note:You are advised to keep this winning very confidential until you receive your lump prize in your account or optional cheque issuance to you.
• 9/11 Victim David Angel and his $58.2M dollars I’ll share with you, courtesy of David Leung of the Bank of East Asia USA.
  I chose to reach you through (Internet)  because it is the fastest, surest and most secured medium of communication. However, this correspondence is un-official but private, and it should be treated as such. I also guarantee you that this transaction is hitch free from all what you may think of.
  Please include your telephone/fax number/ Home address when replying this mail and I will give you more information as soon as you indicate your willingness to assist in this transaction. I will use my positions to get all internal documentations to back up the claims.
  MR. DAVID ANGELL is an account holder in my branch; he owns a dollar account with the sum of 58.2M (Fifty Eight Million, two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) deposited in a Secret account with my branch .In fact, since his death, no next of kin of the account holder nor any relative of him has shown up for the claim, this is because he has the account as a secret account thus he left all the documents for the deposit with me. The wife whom he signed in as his next of kin died with him on that unfaithful sad day.
  Do not be bothered that you are not related in any way to him as I am in position to affix your name as the next of kin. The whole Procedures will last only 9 working days to get the fund retrieved successfully without trace even in future. After the transfer of the money we shall share the money 60-40, which is I will have 60% while you will have 40%.
• The late Iraqi Hassan Hussein who was killed by gunfire and left a $24.5M cash deposit and his personal oil well just for me.
  We later found out that Mr. Hassan Hussein and his family had been killed during the war in Gunfire that hit their home at Mukaradeeb where his personal oil well was.
  After further investigation it was also discovered that Mr. Hassan Hussein did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, US$24,500,000.00 is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me is that according to the laws of my country if nobody comes forward to claim these funds my government will confiscate it.
  Please, note, I am a family man, I have wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to the consequences if you decide to report me but I also know that no venture, no success.

I’m just sayin…